Soy Milk- you get me every time

Every time I get me some chocolate soy milk from the grocery store I think I'm gonna feel so, so good after I drink it. Like as if my body will come alive with energy and healthful goodness, and I'll be ready to go for a hike, a jog, a lengthy amble in the fresh of air--any and all things healthy and pure. I also think that because it's made of soy, with "vital antioxidants" and "eleven essential vitamins and minerals" that the more I drink the better I will feel. Well let me tell you, friends, my sore belly tells a different story. Apparently, you can't drink almost a whole carton of chocolate-infused anything in the early hours of a single afternoon and still feel entirely okay.

When will I learn, friends? When will I learn?

-Toria