Toria thinks...

Saved By The Bell: The New Class was BULLSHIT.

I'm so sorry

You guys,
I have to confess that I wasn't completely honest in my last post when I said that Jake was my boyfriend.

We're actually only friends with benefits.

I am so sorry to have so immensely breached your trust. It will never, ever happen again.
-Toria

Took this picture of my boyfriend Jake yesterday...

-Toria

try this out next time you need to burn someone:

"You should thank me, I helped your mom make you... a sandwich."
BURN!!!!!! (much thanks to Collier Camp)

VITALLY IMPORTANT!!!

You must click here!: http://images.google.com/images?q=Angora+Rabbits&hl=en
It's practically a matter if national security!!!

Extra! Extra!: Baby animals bring the feminist movement to its knees

So everybody, today Wellesley had a PETTING ZOO come to campus!!! While I loved every minute of it and got my fill of petting all the kittens, bunnies, lambs, and minature ponies I could wrap my meaty hands around (if you've seen them you know what I'm talking about. My hands that is), I also couldn't ignore the all pervasive sense of sweet irony that the petting zoo provided. See, while us Wellesley women publicly declare that "Femininity is just a contruct of a male dominated society!" and that "We are not going to let external stereotypes of what a woman should be define us!" we nevertheless come flocking by the hundreds to pet the baby animals. "Kittens! Kittens!" we cry! "Ohmygod! Ohmygod!" Even the butchest of the lesbians were brought to their knees with the cuteness of it all. In my mind the climax of the day took place when I saw a girl holding a baby lamb while whimpering "I just want a baby!". Oh womyn power. -Toria

My Oprah rap (should be sung threateningly, with an appropriate back-beat)

[Chorus]
Oprah!
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
Oprah!
She got so much bling!

If I was Oprah,
I'd eat a lotta oakra.
I'd put you in your place,
tatoo my name up on your face.

Cuz I'd be Oprah!
And I could afford to do that.
And then I think I'd maybe make you wear a novelty hat.
It might say "FBI: Female Body Inspector"
Or maybe it would just be one that has my picture.

Cuz I'd be Oprah!
Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching!
Yeah Oprah!
She got so much bling!

-Toria "wangtsa" Sheffield

Medieval Russia sounded like such a good time!

Upon reading my Russian History book, I came upon the following passage about the chaotic times following the death of Ivan The Terrible: "The problem of succesion was exacerbated because there existed no law of succession in the Muscovite state, because a number of claiments appeared, because Russians looked in different directions for a new ruler, and because, apparantly, they placed a very high premium on some link with the extinct dynasty, which opened the way to fantastic intrigues and impersonations."* Ummm...fantastic intrigues and impersonatations!? Sounds HILARIOUS! Where can I sign up? Seriously, add Eddie Murphy and we've got ourslves a blockbuster. -Toria

*italics added by yours truly to emphasize the importance of "fantastic intrigues and impersonations".