Is it wierd that...

I frequently get the theme from The Crying Game stuck in my head?
-Toria

$1,000 Sundae

This $1,000 golden sundae is exactly the type of lavish and extravagant shit I not only expect, but demand the Chill Factor spend our money on when we are rich and famous. I also insist that we daintily wipe our mouths and/or asses with $100 bills, snatch bread out of the hands of the homeless, and channel money directly out of international relief funds.

http://www.dailyolive.com/got_1000_why_no.html
(click here for details of glorious and edible sundae).

-Toria

I sort of feel like this is the type of absurist situation that The Chill Factor would get into if ever put in charge of a world leader's security...

From the New York Times.com:

Turkey: Sick Premier Locked in Car

Turkey questioned the competence of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s security staff after it rushed him unconscious to a hospital in Ankara on Tuesday after a drop in his blood sugar level and accidentally locked him in his car. As they arrived at the hospital, Mr. Erdogan’s driver and bodyguards jumped out of the car and slammed the doors, activating the automatic lock system, with the car key left in the ignition. As the prime minister lay unconscious inside, they reportedly struggled for about 10 minutes to break the thick window of the armored car, aided by workers at a nearby construction site who brought a sledgehammer and a chisel. The newspaper Hurriyet called it “a security scandal,” while another paper, Sabah, asked, “What if the prime minister was having a heart attack?” Mr. Erdogan, 52, above, was treated for about nine hours and discharged. Doctors said he had had a drop in blood sugar, caused by exhaustion and fasting for Ramadan.

Add a banana peel and a rake in the face and you've got yourself a stooge film.
-Toria

More pics of Gigi from middle school- what was she thinking?!

-Toria

Uncovered this old pic of Gigi's akward middle school years- how embarassing!

-Toria

Baby pic- me at 7 months

-Toria

Minnie Mouse is a dirty whore...at least at the Paris Disneyland

Nothing I can say can add to what has already been done...just watch the video (it takes like a minute to load).

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2006470493,00.html

-Toria

Literally the most delicious thing ever...

I just have to say that today I had the most delicious thing I have ever tasted. It was a piece of bread with peanut butter and grape jelly (heavy on the pb, lighter on the jelly), folded in half, accompanied with a cold glass of milk. I’ve had them before, of course, hundreds of times in fact, but I always seem to forget just how goddamned delicious they are. I mean, it was literally the best taste-sensation I’ve ever had in my mouth. It was so delicious that it was painful. Literally painful. I literally had a hernia with how delicious it was. My abdominal wall literally tore, causing a swollen buldge in my midsection with how delicious it was. My roommate literally had to call health services and they literally had to take me to the hospital as I was doubled over in agony to treat what later was discovered to be said hernia. That’s literally how delicious it was.* So, at any rate, I recommend you have a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich with a cold glass of milk the next time you are able.
-Toria

*Doctors later confirmed that the hernia and pb and j sandwich were actually unrelated. But goddamn that sandwich was delicious.

These are my sons, George, George, George, George, and oh- I almost forgot- George.

As most of you probably already know, famous boxer/grill inventor George Foreman has five sons, all named George Foreman (he also has five daughters, one of whom is named Georgetta, but they are not what concerns me right now). That being said, I just feel the need to vent. WTF George Foreman!? WTF!? I mean aside from just being utterly ridiculous, would not the sheer impracticability of giving five of your children the same name deter you from doing such a thing? Did you not once consider the unnecessary confusion that calling your house would entail (i.e.: “I’d like to speak to George.”)? There are literally thousands of names in the English language to choose from, hundreds of thousands if you count the world, millions if you count those pseudo-hippie names, like Rain, or Misty, hundreds of millions if you just start using “name” loosely and call your kids inanimate objects, like chair, or camera, and you came up with George every. single. time. I don’t know if that speaks to an incredible lack of imagination on your part, or just an immense, pathological laziness, but what you have done, Mr. Foreman, really, seriously irks me. That being said, I plan to name my children Wally and The Beave, just because that would never get old.
Yours Truly,
Toria

AOL news, why you gotta play me like that?

Hey everyone,
Just had to tell you that I faithfully checked AOL news today (because that's face it, when I want news, I want it to be trivial and ill-informed), only to find this:

Jeopardy' Champion Confesses
Ken Jennings tells how 'Jeopardy' turned him into a liar and a magnet for young girls and that he has a hidden talent that has nothing to do with trivia.

What!? You all must be thinking. Not my Ken Jen! And fear not; it turns out that the "lie" they are referring to is that he really doesn't have a lucky charm- he only told Alex Trebeck that because he couldn't think of anything interesting about himself when asked on the show. The "magnet for young girls" is simply a smattering of fan-sites his wife once discovered whilst googling his name ("Much to my surprise and her dismay"). And that oh-so-tantalizing hidden talent? He can write cursive backwards!

So you can all rest assured that Ken is still the good-natured geek we've all come to know and love. As for AOL news- you've lured me in with your scintillating yet totally misleading by-lines for the last time...or have you? Only time will tell on this one.
-T-Bonze