how I would talk if I was somebody's Italian mother

Hey Luigi! Whyda you notta getta me the pizza thata I aska you fora?? Is my money notta gooda tooya any mora? Your owna madda? Oh Luigi! Howa coulda ya!? Where's your noah gooda broda Mario? - Torteleh

Say my name, Say my name

that was from me, p.s, Monica Ann Byrnes The First (as far as I know)

The Joy of Biology and such

So ive got this rather large biology exam tommorow which happens to be quite important as the entire course is based on three test grades, this being one of them. That said, i am not to be dissuaded from taking up my precious time by writing to you all. Originally, I sat down at this desk to be diligent and not move for the next four hours, but unfortunately, as I was reading over my notes on the brain I came across the word hippocampus--and all chance of getting any work done was shot. For how is one expected to study the nervous system when sweet visions of HIPPOS on my CAMPUS dance around in my occipital lobe. What a life I would lead if that beautiful dream could become a reality (think about it: life size games of hungry hungry hippo, live-action version of the hippo ballet from fantasia...what more do you need?) I have heard hippos are actually horribly violent and dangerous creatures, but I fail to see how that is possible. Why? Well...the word "hippocampus" (which has hippo in it, mind you) is derived from the greek word meaning "seahorse," and I ask you, have you ever seen a seahorse harm anyone? I thought so. Happy March 29!!!!!! Good luck in all that you do.

wanna get my hair did

In trying to decide if I want to spend the money to get my hair dyed red professionally, I have masterfully merged this picture of Barbra Streisand with Ronald McDonald's wig. I'm still not sure though. Thoughts? Comments? Any and all advice is welcome. -Toria

my roommate's boyfriend problem

So everyone, as you probably have heard, one of my roommates-unbeknownst to her family-is dating her cousin. And yes, they have had SEX!!!!! (ewwwww! nast! totally vile!). But anyways, while visiting Seattle this past week, said roommate apparently met a guy (whom we shall call "Seattle guy"), whom she has developed feelings for. She now must decide if she will keep things going with her cuz, or break off the relationship to pursue her feelings for this new fella. In trying to decide what to do, she made the following rudimentary pros/cons list for getting with Seattle guy (I took a picture of it in secret while she was out of the room):



I just love how "not a blood relative" and "smells great" are part of the same list for reasons why to date someone. I'll update you when she finally chooses! -Toria

My latest catch phrase

I like to say "I'm going Swayze!" instead of "I'm going crazy!" I heard it in New York this past weekend. I think it's a nice twist on a classic origional. - Tor Tor

I really don't get why people are so suprised when other people tell their secrets

I really don't understand how, without fail, everyone is always so suprised when they find out that someone has told somebody else their secrets. I mean come on people- everybody loves secrets. I may not know who you are, where your live, how much money you make, or what tunes you listen to on your ipod nano, but I do know that you effin' love secrets. We all do. And if there's one thing we all love more than keeping secrets, it's telling them. So stop acting so utterly baffled and betrayed when it comes to your attention that Christy or Susan let it slip that you went to third with Eric in the pool house, or that Jessie told you he thinks he might be bi, because deep down inside you know that you would have done the very same. -Toria

I hate yoga

Several months ago I joined an 8:30 am pillates class that meets every Tuesday and Friday. I showed up the first day, ready to "work out my core" and begin the transformation of my body into a toned, sculpted specimen ready for bikini season, when 20 minutes into it I realized I had gone to the wrong room and was actually in a yoga class. By this point I had already gotten my matt from the supply room, listened to the instructor's introductory welcome speech (where she did not, in fact, mention it was a yoga class. Incompetent much?!), AND signed the attendance sheet, and thus decided I had gone too far to turn back. So since then I've been showing up to class, week after week. It is torturous. My dilemma now comes down to this: I have already slept through three classes (the maximum you're allowed to miss and still receive credit), and I now must decide if I will keep going, trusting myself to not miss any more sessions, or just giving up entirely. Basically, should I put faith in myself, or assume that I will fail? I mean, what if I go to every single class, but then end up missing the very last one? All of that yoga work will have been for nothing! I just don't know if I should risk it. So it's settled. I am dropping out of the accidental yoga class. Thank God. Yoga is an abomination. - Toria

The Chill Factor and Friends

Ok sorry about that last post I totally didn't get what the hell I was doing right then...Toria, not all of us have been initiated into the crazy/lonely/late-night-stalker world of blogs! Some of us don't know if we ever want to be. But I would like to share some words of wisdom with you, care of Stephen Colbert/Gigi Camp -

"You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls."

"I can't prove it, but I can say it."

"Facts change, but my opinion never does."

And Mon and Kath, you'll appreciate this one: "I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment."

Lol.
- Clauday
p.s. Toria I could kill you in your sleep, how the fuck are Gigi and I tied for least important???

The Chill Factor and Friends

Hello?

innuendo

It recently dawned on me that the majority of the shows I watch on tv- whether they be medical, law, cop/crime solving related, drama, dramedy, comedy, mystery- I watch soley for the purpose of construing inter-character sexual tension. Can you say Mulder and Scully? Stabler and Benson? Dr. Carter and Abby? I literally would not be watching/have watched any of these shows if it wern't for the tiniest inkling of tension that may or may not exist between these fictional persons. Was there something more behind Ray and Niela's supposedly "playful" bantar? Did Eliot and Olivia's gaze last for just a little too long? Is that longing for Elaine I see beneath Jerry's facade of cool and collectivness? These are the questions that secretly keep me going back for more, week after week. Am I the only one? Or the only one brave enough to admit it? Ponder that America. -Toria

College

Toria here from her undisclosed women's college location (I'll give you a hint: it's Wellesley!) The weather here is currently gals gals gals with a chance of gals! It honestly doesn't bother me any more; it's nice to walk around campus with my sweats and crack baby hair and be- dare I say it- braless! Utterly and totally without bra! Does that bother you Gigi?? I knew it would. (Gigi's repressed everybody! Utterly and totally RE-PRESSED!) And besides- it's not like we don't have ANY guys on campus. For example, there's Cody who's spending a year here from Bowdoin. He lives in the dorm across the street and is gayer than Richard Simmons in July, but we sho do love him! There's also this German MIT grad student (code name: Euro trash) who dates a junior. He's always here and his clothes are uber-tight. Can't get enough! That's all for now! CF4life!!!