Totally dejected

Hey guys,
So today I came up with a brilliant new phrase. Are you ready for it? Okay, here it goes:

SNATCH ATTACK

It's like snack attack, only with snatch! I thought it would spread like wild fire. Frat guys all over the country would be saying it in no time to speak profanely about ladies they find attractive. As in, "Hey man- that Shirley gives me a major SNATCH ATTACK!" (as in, sudden and unexpected craving for snatch). What's that you say? Brilliant? Inspired even!? Well that's exactly what I thought too. So imagine my chagrin when I discovered that snatch attack has already been invented (check out urban dictionary for a full report). Needless to say I'm dissapointed. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

-Toria

I can explain...

About my last two posts- there's a very logical explanation for all of this. You see, my roommate recently made me go see the Sex and the City movie, starring everybody's favorite horseface, SJP. Now my response to the film was just as you might expect (extreme boredom followed by explosive, angry diarrhea. That's ten bucks and two hours I can never get back), but even more so, it made me temporarily forget myself and start writing/acting like the irrational, intolerable women of the film. And for this I really do apologize.

Friends forever guys!

-Toria

Hey guys...

I just wanted to apologize for that last post. I got a little worked up and said some things I didn't mean. It happens sometimes, and I'm sorry.

Secondly, how dare you? How dare you make me feel as though I need to say I'm sorry for expressing myself, for expressing my needs, for letting other people know how I feel inside??? You are some selfish sons of bitches, and I've had it. I have had it. Don't try to get in touch with me, because I am officially cutting you out of my life.

-Toria

Apologies! Apologies!

So it's been a while since my last post, and I'm sure you've all been growing increasingly desperate for an update. So firstly, let me be the first to say I apologize for the lateness.

Secondly, how dare you? How dare you make me feel as though I have to apologize for living my life, for taking some time to think, for taking care of my own needs for once in my life! We're over. We're entirely over. I give and I give, and you take and you take, and I'm through with it! Game over you selfish sons of bitches! GAME OVER!

-Toria